Season 1, Episode 7 - Harness the Power of Community for Business Growth with Emily Merrell

Written By Jamie Ratermann

Do you have a community where you can be yourself and grow alongside your peers? As busy as you may be, it is essential for entrepreneurs to cultivate community. According to Emily Merrell – founder of Six Degrees Society and this week’s guest – entrepreneurs should network every day. 

In the seventh episode of The Limitless Podcast, Emily joins us to talk about the importance of building your network and your community. We discuss the art of effective networking, which could land you referrals and potential clients. We dive into the advantages of belonging to a community and developing quick problem-solving skills. We also cover how you can adopt the right mindset to network every day.

We can work as lone entrepreneurs (or “solopreneurs”), but we can grow even faster when we do it with others.

If you want to learn how to expand your community and harness your network, this episode is for you.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:

  1. Learn the value of networking and community in the context of business and personal growth. 

  2. Discover how networking can help you gain clients.

  3. Understand the ways to build your network and community. 

Resources

Episode Highlights

[07:17] The Story Behind Six Degrees Society

  • Before her career in entrepreneurship, Emily used to work in special events and marketing for high luxury fashion brands.

  • However, she couldn’t see herself becoming a director of events or CMO of the company. She also found that pivoting her career can be costly. 

  • Emily started Six Degrees Society to bring friends from different industries together and share what they do. She used member bios to form diverse groups.

  • She continued to plan these monthly events until 2016 when she realized that this community could become a company.  

[11:33] Emily’s Motivation for Becoming a Coach

  • Emily’s business coach pointed out that her work was about helping and guiding others — the core of what coaches do. 

  • After overcoming her imposter syndrome, Emily used the success of Six Degrees Society to build a coaching business. 

  • Her coaching focuses on helping people grow their businesses through community events and partnerships. 

  • Emily encourages new coaches to be generous and give services to people in exchange for testimonials and feedback. 

  • Practice is invaluable. Practice will improve the way you sell and boost your confidence. 

[16:38] Getting Clients as a Newbie Coach

  • Don’t be afraid to tell people that you’re selling your services.  

  • The fear of selling is often the fear of burdening others with your offer or the fear of rejection. 

  • You cannot promote in the dark. Jamie shares that people usually take seven to 12 interactions before working with someone.

Emily: “When in motion, stay in motion. Once you've hooked one person, keep selling. The right clients will find you at the right time, but you also have to fly your flag and let people know you're selling something.”  - Click Here to Tweet This

[18:51] Taking a Chance on Life-Changing Opportunities

  • Emily shares that her parents were entrepreneurs. She liked how it gave them the freedom to spend time with their family without requesting time off. 

  • When she was still in the corporate world, Emily felt guilty for taking time off. 

  • Entrepreneurs can create a healthy environment for themselves. 

  • The pandemic allowed her to leave the Bay Area, create a mastermind group, shift her work virtually, and give her the freedom to work from anywhere.  

[22:56] Why Networking is Important

  • Referrals can shorten the number of necessary touchpoints from the usual seven to twelve, down to three to four.

  • Emily shares that she did not have a website when she first started. She gained clients through referrals. 

  • Six Degrees Society started with Emily’s close friends, but it has grown to include friends of friends. This helped her build a strong network of referrals.  

Emily: “One good experience can change everything. [It’s the] same thing with community, it is a lot more fun to do business with people you know and trust, and [you can] also pre-vet it.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[26:44] Referrals and Social Media Go Hand-In-Hand 

  • Remember that referred clients will always check your website and socials first before working with you. 

  • Your social media marketing needs consistency and accountability. 

  • If you don’t know what to put on social media, ask yourself, ‘How would I like people to feel while engaging with my stuff?’ 

  • You can also think about what you want others to ask you for. 

[29:05] Everyone Needs Community

  • People need community. However, many people don’t reach out until they need something.

  • Being in a community can help you grow and learn as your life changes. 

  • A community should not be something you look for when you need something; it should be built naturally over time. 

  • Your problems are not unique. If you open up about them in a community, there’s a high chance someone else has had a similar problem.  

  • Learn from others. Accept that we don’t need to try to reinvent the wheel ourselves. 

Emily: “Build your networking community when you aren't looking for anything and then tap it when you are. People are going to be that much more receptive to help you.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[35:37] Open Up to a Community  

  • Emily notes that groups can be intimidating, sometimes. Some people fear they aren’t enough or are too far behind.

  • Emily reminds us that we can soar when we lean on others. 

  • Remember that the five people you surround yourself with can dictate who you are. 

[38:39] How to Practice Networking

  • Emily recommends practicing networking every day. It doesn’t need to be at a networking event; it can be with the people you meet on the streets. 

  • Every person can be a potential connection. Be open-minded. 

  • Choose networking events that interest you, so you will be able to meet like-minded people. 

  • Emily suggests wearing something that makes you feel empowered and easy to identify during these events.

  • She also recommends setting intentions but lowering expectations. For instance, having the goal to introduce yourself to two people, rather than coming out with a new job.  

[43:51] What Limitless Means to Emily

  • For Emily, “limitless” means being able to buy things without fear or scarcity and operating from a place of generosity and abundance.  

  • It's also about being able to react and make life changes freely.  

About Emily

Emily Merrell is the founder and business coach at Six Degrees Society, co-founder of the Ready Set Coach Program, and podcast host of The Sixth Degree Podcast. She helps women find the spark to connect, launch and ignite the fire within and has supported thousands of ambitious women to get what they want in their personal and professional lives through signature curated events, sold-out masterminds, and 1:1 coaching.

Emily’s expertise has been applauded and featured by Refinery29, Girlboss, Forbes, Brit + Co, and Create & Cultivate. She is a new Denver resident, and in her spare time, you can find her exploring her new city, playing with her son Jackson, adventuring with her husband, or planning her next taco night.

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Transcript

Emily Merrell: When in motion, stay in motion. Once you've hooked one person, then keep selling too. I so believe in “the right clients will find you at the right time” and positivity. But you also have to fly your flag and let people know you're selling something because if you don't tell people — they're not like mind readers here. They're not going to just automatically knock on your door and be like, “Are you selling something?”

Jamie Ratermann: You're listening to The Limitless Podcast where we dig into all the possibilities that exist when you lean into the big vision for your life and your business. Hi, my name is Jamie Ratermann, and I am a holistic business coach. Meaning, I am just as invested in growing your health as I am and growing your wealth. With 11-plus years in brand and social media marketing, I help rebellious entrepreneurs master marketing, embody leadership and say “fuck it” to the hustle. 

This show is here to encourage you to become radically aware of your self-imposed limits, to break free of your “shoulds”, and to expand your brand into a movement led by you. The way I see it, marketing is a way of spreading your mission, social media is a gift for connection, and sales are where you build your strongest relationships. Let's dig in. 

Hello, all! Welcome to The Limitless Podcast episode seven. Today, we have the lovely, the magnetic, and the powerful Emily Merrell joining us. She is the founder of the Six Degrees Society, which helps you build that really strong network that can help you build your business. But we also talk about how you get to be a part of a community. The more people you can reach, the more people you can talk to. 

In this episode, you're going to hear us share about, of course, Emily's entrepreneurship community — how she turned that networking society into a coaching business. We're going to talk about how being in community is more powerful than lone-preneurship, talking about what it looks like to lean on others, and how that helps you grow as a person, as a business, faster. Also, I share a lot about the power of referrals and how being able to build a strong network can make conversion, make things easier, but also can be really powerful. 

Emily shares her beautiful knowledge today, and I'm so excited for you all to dive in. Before we hop into the episode, I want to give you all a personal invitation to my new offer — the Thrive Mastermind. The Mastermind is exactly what we're sharing a little bit about today — the power of community towards your desired goals, towards how you want to see your business grow. The Thrive Mastermind is built off of three really important pillars — growing your wealth of knowledge, and of course, income, leaning into the wisdom of the other six entrepreneurs in the group and me as your mentor with my 11-plus years of marketing experience, and of course, creating those health routines that can improve your sense of worthiness. 

If you want to dream big, you want to create this big vision for the world, we're going to tap into mindset and to health, and to all of those things that might be slowing you down — those limiting blocks. You know I like to talk about that on here. I'll drop it into the show notes in addition to what Emily shares with us today, but this is my personal invite for you to see the power of community and also be able to hit those bigger vision, dreams, all othe above. So the Thrive Mastermind — you're invited.

Hi lovelies, welcome to episode seven of The Limitless Podcast. I am full of joy today because I am having — this is my second interview on The Limitless Podcast, and I'm so excited to introduce you to somebody who is very special to me. Before I do that though — seven episodes, we are seven episodes into this amazing podcast. Please take the time, if you have been enjoying every single one of these episodes, give me a follow, give me a rate, review, let me know what you want to hear from. I've been having clearly a blast creating these, so I would love, love, love to hear from all of you. But it's time — let's do the thing, let's really introduce who is here. 

I want to introduce you to Emily Merrell. Emily Merrell is the founder of the Six Degrees Society — but that's just one title for her. She is actually the Connector-in-Chief, she is somebody who has absolutely built some of the biggest networks, not only for her own business, but anyone who gets to be a part of her. She is somebody who I would like to personally acknowledge for the pusher, the person who talks about my own Sprints all the time, but she was also — guess what? My first ever business coach. I felt crazy when I did that, but she is somebody who has been a core backbone in my business. 

I'm so excited to have her here. She's now pretty much my best friend — pretty much? Why did I say pretty much? — my best friend and we get to grow together. I'm so excited to have her here. So founder of Six Degrees Society, business coach —- many titles here. I'm going to let her fully Introduce herself. But Emily, thank you so much for coming to The Limitless Podcast.

Emily: Thank you so much for having me. I'll be right back. I'm going to be crying in the bathroom. This was a wonderful introduction, and I hope you always remember your first, Jamie. The first time can sometimes be the most powerful time, or memorable. 

Jamie: Popped my coaching cherry.

Emily: I popped her coaching cherry, I took her from “I'm a consultant” to — I think you are a coach — and pushing her into the deep, dark world of coaching, and you nailed the intro. The only additional thing is I'm also the co-founder of Ready Set Coach Program, a program that helps individuals launch their own coaching program from the get-go. But I am so excited to be on your podcast. It feels like yesterday, we were recording your episode on mine. I think you were probably number seven on mine.

Jamie: I remember that — so far, we talked about so many things on your podcast. I just remember that we talked about the Tiger King.

Emily: Okay, so that tells you the place and time. That was 2020. 

Jamie: 2020, exactly.

Emily: That was when things were wild, and when we were like, “Oh, this thing is going to be two weeks long.” I started my podcast as a pandemic project, and I was like, “I'll just like shoot out a few episodes.” Then, 70 episodes later, the pandemic is still happening. Anyhow, I'm so happy to be here. I also just want to let people know you might hear some weird noises in the background. My husband is speaking baby to my baby. My baby is speaking human back to my husband, I think.

Jamie: Or baby talk, or baby geniuses — whatever it might be. Before we pressed record on this podcast, Jackson, her newest addition to her family, was deciding to show me his microphone skills. He was killing it pretty well.

Emily: Honestly, I might have to just redo my branding of my podcasts personally just to have Jackson’s face. I think I'll get more listeners that way.

Jamie: I think so. He's the draw. He's the draw.

Emily: People actually come over to my house now, not to hang out with me, but like, “Just show me the baby.” I'm like, “Whoa, ouch,” but I appreciate it.

Jamie: “I'll show you the baby, I'm going to go run some errands if you…” Well, wonderful to have you. I wanted to start off the talk. Let's talk about who do you help, and why did you choose to do entrepreneurship because I know you are a New York queen. You are now a Denverian, which, again — it is what it is. But what made you make the choice from going from corporate to deciding to go into entrepreneurship?

Emily: I was talking about this, this morning, with my workout accountability buddy, which I think is going to be up shortly as well, which is a whole different story. But I was working in special events and marketing in high luxury fashion. I had the dream job — people would reach out to me on LinkedIn and be like, “How did you get there?” I was like, “I don't know — networking, meeting the right people at the right time, being good and organized, and being able to plan events.” 

While it was really fun and it taught me a lot, I also felt like I had a limit. It wasn't limitless in my expansion and growth — just to pull in the title of your podcast right there.

Jamie: Please. Please — any chance you get. 

Emily: It was really hard —  it was hard to continue learning. I wasn't sure that I could see myself as the director of events or a CMO of this company. I was really curious what else was out there, but also I found that making a pivot in your career was really hard. It was either like taking a class at General Assembly, and learning how to be a coder, but not really knowing if we’re going to be good at coding, or getting an MBA, or getting a masters. Those all felt like really expensive options for something that I was not sure what I wanted my future to look like. 

Long story long, Six Degrees Society came to be more to bring my friends together who had various careers and learn from each other, and be able to share a day in the life of one another, of what a day in the life of like a planner was, a financial person, a buyer — all of the things outside of fashion and inside of fashion. At my very first event — it didn't have a name; it was just a desire to bring humans together, and learn and grow collectively — I did something.

I made a snap decision the night before. I had everyone submit their bio, and based on their bios, I pre-matched who they met. They all met four people for 15 minutes each. At the end of the night, people came up to me and they were like, “That was extraordinary because I felt like, ‘How did you know I needed to connect with this person? How did you know?’” Somehow, my intuition led me to the right fit for the right person. 

They started asking me like when my next event was. I was like, “Sorry, I have planned events professionally. This is like a selfish endeavor for me to learn and grow, and for you all to learn and grow.” They were like, “No, no. You should do this monthly.” I have so many people I want to invite, and it took a little convincing for me to actually get on board with this because this takes time, this takes money, this takes energy. I planned another event, and we actually started off as a company called City Society. 

We were planning events monthly, and we had different themes to events. Long story so, so, so long to answer your direct question, I did this as a side hustle. It's just like a desire to connect, and to learn, and to grow, and to surround myself with expanders — this started in 2014. Then, in 2016, I had that entrepreneurial itch. I was like, “I want to be an entrepreneur.” I remember surrounding myself with a lot of entrepreneurs and questioning like, “What is that moment? What is that thing going to be?” I felt like entrepreneurship was like, I had to create a product — like a candle or something. And people in my community were like…

Jamie: How about you create candles because that's always the first thing that comes up to me when I think of products — like candles, like why is it candles?

Emily: There’s a candle right next to me. I was like, “Well, what the fuck should I do?” Someone in my community was like, “Emily, your community — expand it, monetize it, grow it.” I was like, “No, no one's going to pay for that. It's only a New York thing. This will never be able to grow.” Then, I got the recognition I needed from another city. Someone — a friend in another city was like, “I want to bring this to Chicago. How do I do that?” And I was like, “Whoa! Could this really be a company?” 

It was like a split decision where I realized, “It's now or never. I got to try it before I get bogged down with the family and kids — and all the things.” I jumped in 2016. So basically, I backflipped into entrepreneurship.

Jamie: You landed well, which is beautiful. Six Degrees Society is one really important part of what you do. What made you take the further step to go, “I want to help people in a one-on-one or group capacity”, like you are as a business coach?

Emily: You just asked me that question, “Who do I serve?” I started getting interested in coaching. I hired my very first business coach, then I had to quit my job. I sat next to her at a dinner — and I had never even heard of a business coach. I'd heard of life coaches, I still think of my Russian crew coaches who were really intense. The idea of someone guiding you in doing something that they've done before was really attractive to me. 

After I worked with her for over a year, I ended up hiring another business coach. She kept reminding me, like when I shared with her a typical day in coffee meetings, she's like, “Emily, you're coaching people.” I was like, “No, I'm not.” It comes so easy to me like, “I'm not coaching them, I’m helping them, I'm guiding them. I'm paying it forward. People paid it forward to me, I'm paying it forward to them.” She was like, “No, you can charge cash money for this, like you can charge money for a coach.” 

Jamie, all of that impostor syndrome came up because I was like, “I don't have a certification in this. I didn't go to coaching school or camp — or whatever the hell they do. Who's going to want to work with me? What do I have that other people don't have?” Once I got over myself, I was able and fortunate to use the success I had with building Six Degrees Society and I apply it to helping people grow their businesses. Specifically, I primarily focused on helping people build their business through community events and partnerships. 

I think that us working together — perfect example is helping you build the Sprints. That is the top of the funnel — community-building, experience that brings people in and helps them get a taste of Jamie before really buying into Jamie. It has evolved, and not every single person I've worked with has the desire for community, but it's like some way of connecting with others. I think my secret sauce is that I have clarity, and I can kind of see the future of people's business before they can see it on their own. 

I think for you, Jamie, I was like a shark smelling blood in the water. I’m like, “You’re a coach,” having panic attacks around you, and you're like, “Emily chill.” I’m like, “I'm a consultant. I have to work for this person and this person, and I have to do for others. Like no, you have to teach. But like it took you time to see it for yourself.

Jamie: It's totally true. I think part of that was — I know exactly what you're saying with your transition of it was me going like, “I can do this well. If I do that, am I an imposter? Or is it a little bit different?” What's so funny about is I think I created the Sprints with you, and then it took me another year after creating the Sprints. I was doing Sprints and I started a group program, and I was still holding on to consulting like it was some badge of…

I hadn't relinquished it yet. I hadn't been like, “Okay, I believe in myself enough to go and do this thing.” I think what I love about what you said is — like immediately like, “Let's do a business coach because I need it. I just need someone to guide me through this with what I want to do, and a part of it is really like…” Once you decide to be a full-blown entrepreneur, once you decide you want to create something that's scalable or it's like for your thing, no matter how big your community is.

Emily would have told me this when she was first becoming a coach — and she's telling me that she was like, “Oh my God, I don't know if I can do this.” I would be like, “Are you high? What's wrong? You are so you present yourself so well, you are so knowledgeable, you have so many all of these other things.” Our inner critic will always tell us to slow down. We're like, “This isn't safe, don't take risks, stay where you are.” Then, that same inner critic later on goes like, “Why has nothing changed for us?” 

Knowing that no matter what big decision you're making, the inner critic is there — she's not going anywhere, just be like, “Oh, there she is again — hello.” But what I love about what you shared is that you created the events, so you had this evidence like, “I did this before. I can do it again. I can keep moving through it.” I think that's something I love about being able to go, the first steps — it is really the hardest, but it doesn't mean you never feel that way again.

Emily: I was going to say. I feel like your first client is the hardest, like the first “Yes” is the hardest, but it's also the most memorable. Then, the second, it's like, “Okay, okay. This is true, this is validating what I've created.” The third — you're like, “Wow, I'm amazing. This is awesome.” I feel like that's when you get confidence in whatever you're doing. 

I always encourage people who are like, “I want to be coaches”, and they graduated from their coaching certification, and they're like, “I'm ready.” I'm like, “Have you coached someone before?” They’re like, “No, I need to find clients.” Be generous — come from a place of generosity. Give your services to someone in exchange for a testimonial, in exchange for feedback because practice is so invaluable. Just to get one client, just to get one person for you to say when you're selling to your second client, “My client that I work with did XY and Z”, that's going to do wonders for your confidence in the way you sell.

Jamie: Totally. The level of access to pricing all of the things that come up with the early parts of it is that you are always worth the money — you are always worth whatever price you put yourself at. But at the beginning, you might be asking for them — I've absolutely encouraged some of my early stages of their coaching to take a step back and make, “Hey, if she's your first or she's your second one, you do like a beta program where you're able to do like a half off and be able to get that experience. That's what you're getting.” 

Then, they know that they're getting in on the ground floor early. With what you're saying, it's something that, I guess, it’s a confidence booster and it’s experience. But being giving — being giving to know that this is something that you're going to benefit from and not always having to feel like, “I can't work with people unless they're at this high number”, or whatever that might be. 

Emily: You need to start somewhere too. Literally, when in motion, stay in motion. Once you've hooked one person, then keep selling too. I so believe in “the right clients will find you at the right time” and positivity. But you also have to fly your flag and let people know you're selling something because if you don't tell people — they’re not like mind readers here. They're not going to just automatically knock on your door and be like, “Are you selling something? Can I buy from you? I don't know what it is, but I must buy.” I think that's a big disadvantage that a lot of people can do at times.

Jamie: Totally. There's two things that happened with selling. There's a fear around selling that you think you're burdening people with your offer. There’s also this really silly concept where someone will say, “I posted it once and I got zero signups.” You go like — you don't even know where to start. Have you seen every single one of my posts? 

There's a lot to be said about — whenever you are jumping into a business, you’ve got to be ready to shout it from the rooftops. You can't promote a business in the dark — it just is not going to happen. I mean, throwing out statistics here — it takes us at least seven to twelve times before we even think about making a decision of working with somebody. So being able to… 

Emily: It’s like dating, just so you know. 

Jamie: Exactly. 

Emily: Just like dating at a bar, like you see a guy across the room, you have to look at them, I think, seven times —- or they have to see you seven times before they'll make a move. So lucky number seven — podcast number seven, seven is a good theme.

Jamie: Seven times — seven times of promoting your business, check those off before you give up on whatever your new offer is, which is what I love about that. But I think that there's a part of this. I think what's different from entrepreneurship and being in a corporate world is that giving a piece of yourself away — you're definitely giving a piece of what you want… 

If you don't have a deeper meaning behind, “I just want to make money off of this offer. It's just what everyone else is doing.” It's going to be difficult to sell, it's going to be difficult to invite somebody into what you're doing. I'm going on a tangent, but I love the side of selling really is about relationships, but also your driven purpose. 

Emily: I think your original question too, of like, “Why did you leave corporate for entrepreneurship? What was your motivation?” Well, I told you how or why I created it, but both my parents, growing up, were entrepreneurs. It was funny — I never really experienced the corporate life until I was in it myself or my stepdad had a corporate job. But my mom — I always admired that she was able to be there for everything. 

We had two lines in her house. There was one line I was not allowed to answer which I answered very frequently because you're a kid and the phone rings, and all you want to do is pick it up. But it was really cool seeing her as an entrepreneur. This was a time when people weren't working from home — that wasn't cool, that wasn't chic — and I appreciated the flexibility and the freedom that it provided her. I loved that we could go… 

Same with my dad, we could go for months at a time to Florida and Michigan for three months and spend it there — and she could work and he could work, and it wasn't requesting time off or your boss needing you. I really envied that freedom once I entered corporate, and was like, “I'm sorry, what? I have to ask for time off because someone's in the hospital? I don't…” Everything just felt really — I felt scared to ask for time off. 

I felt like I was inconveniencing and I felt guilty taking time off. I love the fact that, with my business, that it's in this tiny little laptop, I can take it with me anywhere, especially with the fact that our in-person events pivoted virtually. I didn't realize what a shackle in a way that was to have in-person events. As much as I enjoyed them and I love them, but what an energy and location-specific need it had to have. By pivoting things virtually, which we did during the pandemic, I was able to really liberate myself from location completely.

Jamie: I love that. I love that. I think I have a dream of sorts. I think the more entrepreneurs actually can create a healthy environment for themselves, and we get to talk about it more, hopefully, it will ripple into the corporate world where you don't have to worry about taking time off if somebody's in the hospital, “Of course, go ahead.” 

I think we both can admit we left some toxic corporate environments. It took a while to deconstruct those for sure. But now, getting to create what we want, but also we are our bosses. If this week was too much, it's on us — it's not on somebody else. Whenever I see people complaining or venting about how corporate America is right now, I hope that all of us posting about how we have more freedom and all of us talking about how we feel healthier, and all of the things because we're entrepreneurs that it starts to ripple into corporate America.

Emily: I mean, truthfully, that's the pandemic. The fact that my husband was able to work remotely, and more people from his company started moving to Denver — that's the reason we left the Bay Area. Otherwise, I always love to think of sliding doors of life sometimes like, “Had the pandemic not happened, would I’ve ever created a Mastermind, would I've ever created Ready Set Coach, would I ever learned how to pivot virtually? Or would I still be this chicken with the head cut off, running around, doing all the things because I feel self-important?” 

Then, “Would we still be living in a tiny apartment in San Francisco because we had to — because his job.” It's interesting thinking what the other reality could have been. I mean, the pandemic had so many dark moments to it, but the light is exactly your point of — it's allowed a lot more introspection and opportunity for this, like location-dependent freedom.

Jamie: I love that. We could talk about this forever, and I want to, but I want to tap into your beautiful experience with creating community, how networking is essential to all the things, and how in general — how this has been something that's important for your business, but how you've seen it kind of work within people around you, myself included. The reason why I love having Emily on the podcast is for the fact that — I’ve got to admit here — networking and referrals will always be social media. 

Emily: Wait, I'm sorry. This is recorded, right? Okay.

Jamie: Just throwing this out there — referrals, like a word of mouth, is someone refers you to a business. It usually cuts that touchpoint thing that we were talking about earlier — that seven to twelve touchpoints — it'll cut it down to three. Usually, about three to four touchpoints. If you're able to get a referral from somebody, you do not have to put as much out there to get it to be able to potentially turn that into a client. 

A really big part of networking referrals is that whatever you are putting on social is a benefit to when you do get a referral, but if you're thinking to yourself, “What's the easiest way? What's the lowest-hanging fruit? What's the way in which that I can make this program that I'm creating, or this product, to go viral for me?” Referrals.

Emily: 100%. It's so funny you say that because when I started my coaching business, I didn't have a website for it. I was like, “I'm like a whisper coach”, and I told it to some people. Then, people would have good success, and then refer other people. Most of my business — actually I don't think anything was found on Google. I know one person posted about me on an Instagram story, and I got two clients — one Instagram story, two clients signed up, one paid in full, which was really awesome. 

It was insane. The power of one good experience can change everything. Same thing with community — it is a lot more fun to do business with people that you know and trust and that also come pre-vetted. With community, especially the community that I carry, it's very much grown — and I've got them to say the dreaded “authentic” word — authentically and organically, like we’re friend of a friend of a friend. 

It started off with a very specific problem to me, and then, this small intimate group of friends — those friends shared it with their friends, their friends shared it with those friends. What I really loved about the community too — I forgot, I haven't talked about this problem in a while. But say you met someone, Jamie, at my house, and it was one of my best friends, and then you guys went and became friends. I'd probably be really jealous, and I'd be like, or forever that person would be like, “That's Emily's friend”, so-and-so. 

You might not go off and be friends with her because you know they have a strong connection. But meeting in a community setting, or like a networking event, or whatever event there is, everyone's kind of neutral, and everyone's fair game. Even though you brought your friend, and now I become friends with her and you become friends with my friend, it's not Emily's friend so-and-so, or Jamie’s friends so-and-so, you met at this outside place.

Jamie: I love that. It's so funny about how many times I'm like, “Oh, yeah, I know her through Six Degrees.” Even me, whenever I recently connected a lot of different people who live in Asheville, they didn't know each other, and I'm like, “Okay, this is the backstory of how I know each one of these people, and all of you should just know each other”, and at least two of them are Six Degrees meets — absolutely Six Degrees meets. Love how that comes into play. 

Really, I think a part of this is really saying community gets to be this really warm place that you get to be yourself — that's the goal within Six Degrees, let me be clear. But also that your energy is really being — what's the word I'm looking for — there's a seal of approval on your energy, and they go like, “Hey, she's a business, I will talk about her to others”, that type of thing. Having somebody put their stamp of approval on you helps you. So getting out and about  — events, referrals, all of these can be really helpful. I can't stop myself. When you do get a referral — the first few places they do look are the ‘gram, and then your website.

Emily: Correct. But I think a perfect example of this is — I'm a coach for Selfmade, which is a program by Brit + Co. I think this is my fourth time coaching, and there's always people, when I ask them about social media, I hung up with it like everyone raises their hand pretty much. I've always pushed people to Jamie because I'm like, “You need consistency and accountability. I pushed them to the Sprints. How many of those — like several people from that introduction have converted to clients for you? 

Jamie: Absolutely. 

Emily: But just by me putting my stamp of approval on a system, or on a program, or on a solution, people trusted me, and then, went to this, and so on and so forth. I love what you just said — you want people to know what you are or what you do, and I always think of cocktail parties, the same like, “Are your ears burning?” If your ears were burning, what would people be saying about you? You must meet Jamie for social media, you must meet Emily for networking or clarity, or whatever it may be. Have that thing that you know you're really good at that a friend from college who looks at your Instagram could tell someone at a party about.

Jamie: Oh my gosh! Yes, absolutely. I even will have — if someone is trying to figure out how to put themselves out on social media, I'll do that exact same thing where I flip the question like, “How would you like people to feel engaging with your stuff? And how can we just like bring that back?” If someone says like, “I want them to see that I'm silly.” I'm like, “Alright, let's talk about what silly looks like and how…” You can make that your own, but like being able to say, “I want people to come to me for this, I want them to see and trust me for these reasons.” 

That is a beautiful way to be, but ask your friends like, “Hey, how do you see me? And they'll be honest.” You want that honesty. I've absolutely asked the question. Then, they’d be like, “I feel like I'm in a trap. What do you mean?” Like, “No, how do you see me?” Let me know what I'm putting out there and be able to understand if I liked it or not, and I get to make shifts if I want. But I think that's a lovely way of going, “How do you want people to know you?” For sure.

Emily: I like that — one word associated to you.

Jamie: You have a number of different ways that you run a community — you have Six Degrees, you talked about your Ready Set Coach Program, I have also been personally in one of your Masterminds. You seem to really love community. How have you seen each level of creating this space, where not only one person's learning but many people are, how have you seen that be a little bit different in each place and setting?

Emily: Jamie, I thought I was a shy person, so this is completely news to me. Just kidding. My dad said I was cute until I learned how to talk — sums me up perfectly because I ask a lot of questions. 

Jamie: Thanks, dad.

Emily: Thank you, you sweet, sweet man. One of the things — I love community, I think everyone should be in it. I don't care if you are a teacher, if you're a homemaker, if you are a CEO of a company — everyone needs community. It's funny because a lot of people feel like that community — they don't need community until they want something. I had this when I started Six Degrees — I had some friends that I invited that were teachers, and they were like, “I don't need a new job, I'm not looking for a new job, I don't need a network.” 

I was like, “Girlfriend, everyone needs to network. Everyone needs to continue growing and expanding because as you evolve and your life evolves, you're going to need things. Maybe you'll need a realtor one day, maybe you'll need a wedding planner one day, maybe you'll need a babysitter one day.” There's ways to continue growing, and expanding, and learning. It's been interesting, even in my own evolution, just seeing how my own types of community have evolved. 

Now, having a kid, I am in more mom groups than I know what to do with. I can talk to you about so many different sleep apps, and books, and things like that. But it was also really, really helpful to be in a community with people who are going through the same things I was going through at the same time, and rely on people who also had come before. Anyways, I created my community — it's like a general thing. Even the events that we share with the community are personal, professional, and lifestyle-focused, and really focused on bringing the whole person’s development into fruition basically. 

It's not like everything is business, and how to do business, and you're an entrepreneur. I think it's not just for the entrepreneur, it's for everyone. It's important to have connections and people in your life that aren't mirrors of you. The Mastermind was my — I was doing one-on-one coaching, and as I mentioned, I was whisper coaching it. I had a bevy of one-on-one clients for my one-on-one coaching. Then, I didn't know how to bridge my one-on-one coaching with my community — I felt like a disconnect. 

There's Six Degrees — this community, Emily Merrell Coaching — it was like the one-on-one coaching, it wasn't any fancy program name or anything like that. The Mastermind was really an opportunity to bridge these two worlds of mine where I was able to take my community and laser focus on people who wanted the next steps, the help, the desire to be able to leverage my own community, but also to have support from other members of community. 

It was this very curated group of individuals. Again, and there’s the pandemic project that wouldn't have happened had the pandemic not happened. But it was cool because I was able to provide them one-on-one coaching, but also show them the power of leaning on each other and collaborating with one another. Community is super important to me. I also think that it's not something that should be sought out for when you need something, it should be something that you're building continuously. As Jamie knows, my favorite line is, “Build your networking community when you aren't looking for anything, and then tap it when you are.” People are going to be that much more receptive to help you.

Jamie: Absolutely. I think a couple of things that I think that's really interesting about community is that it's really important to know that none of us are unique, and we're also very special. The idea of… what's really lovely about taking ourselves out of a one-on-one situation and bringing it into a community is the fact that, if you feel like you're feeling a lot scarcity today, or if you're feeling like you hate social media, if you're feeling like — I’m trying to think of the last Six Degrees I went to… [unintelligible]’

If you feel like there's something wrong with you, that you have to fix something about yourself, that you have these challenging thoughts, these challenging things that you work through — you're wrong, you're absolutely wrong. You're not unique in that way for the fact that when you open up in a community, you're going to find so much warmth, support, validation of someone coming back going like, “Oh, me too. Absolutely been there before. This is how I've worked through it.” 

For you, as a coach, leading a Mastermind for you as a coach leading any group program, like you're there to always answer those questions, but not just hearing from your mentor, but hearing from these other people being like, “Oh, that worked for me too”, or, “Oh, have you looked at this product before”. All of the things allow you just to realize, “Oh, I'm not just some wounded human. Everyone else is having a better time than me.” It's just not the truth. 

We can certainly say people show their best on social media, but sometimes it's hard to really show when you're in the depth of it, but in a community — in a Facebook group, Voxer chat, coaching call where you have everybody there, the idea of going like, “Oh yeah. This actually reverberates with me. I can feel safe in here to say like, ‘Yeah, how do I work through that?” Or “Yeah, I've actually felt that. There's something that needs to be fixed about me.’” Then, you got seven voices going like, “Hell no, you're magnetic the way you are.” There's so much to be said about the energetic transfer of just being around a group. 

Emily: It's funny because I feel like when people were like, “Are you ever going to start a group?” They’re like, “Oh, God! No. That's terrifying. I would never do that.” Even for me, the Mastermind was my baby step into doing a group. Then, Ready Set Coach, we have modules and group, and it's on my co-founder, Lexie Smith, who is a… 

Jamie: Shoutout to Lexie.

Emily: Shoutout to Lexie who just had her baby, which has been really fun to see her journey. But what's funny — I answered the call alone this week because she had her baby. I asked everyone I was like, “What was your biggest takeaway from this particular session?” Someone said just that. They're like, “You know what? It's hearing other people's questions, and getting answers and realizing I had that question too. Like their questions aren't — you nailed it, Jamie. Their questions aren't novel, their problems — I'm not saying that not everyone's like a special snowflake, but like you're not. 

We all struggle. We all have the high highs and low lows, and there most likely is someone that has gone before you and problem solved it. Why not learn from others, and than try to reinvent the wheel yourself?

Jamie: Totally. I think it's about getting out of these doldrums of sorts. Because I've definitely had one-on-one experiences, and I'll leave the call, and I was like, “She must think that I'm insane.” Because I was having a chaotic energy day. I was just feeling all the things. As somebody who, you coach and I coach, we can’t always make people feel as warm as we can. We do our best — we cheerlead, we’d help you go like, “Don't worry about it. That's not something…”, coming off that way. 

But having more voices go like, “That was me last week.” It was funny. In a Mastermind that I participated in, I was talking about I'm having gremlin — I call it “gremlin days” right before I have my period. I have a gremlin day where I'm like, “Oh, these negative thoughts”, because that's happening. Everyone's like, “Oh, my God! You gave it a name”, because they all felt the same way. Everyone has a special sauce to them, of course. But we're also all human, working through all the things that come up through our work. 

I think, for me, the move from lone-preneurship to getting support was huge because I just kept going, “I can read the books, I can do the things — I'm not impressive enough to walk into a group or I'm not impressive enough to make this big leap.” What you find when you get into a group is that everyone's a little bit of a hot mess — just a little bit. Then, there's ones that like — they feel friggin radiant and powerful, even in that hot mess — who cares? 

And you go, “I want to tap into that, and I also want to share myself.” I think for me, of course I love my one-on-one clients, but the group containers just be — lights you up, but they're like compounding in a way. You want to be celebrated, let's hear five voices — like you got your own little cheerleading squad telling you like, “Yeah, you're doing the right things. Keep going.”

Emily: Totally. It's funny because I think with one-on-one clients, they're like, “Oh, I don't like group. I don't want to share the room with someone else.” Or they feel like they've not had enough, or they're too far behind on things, or they're going to move faster one-on-one — which is true, like they will. But I do think there is that element of like, “You are really going to soar when you are leaning on other people.” 

Jamie: There's another side of this where I'll have a client or two that they don't want to tell their family they want to be an entrepreneur or their families aren't exactly helpful, and I go, “Okay, so who are your entrepreneur friends?” And they're like, “You.” And I'm like…

Emily: You, girlfriend. You’ve got to get out — you’ve got to surround yourself with people.

Jamie: There's a statistic out there — the five people you surround yourself with is who you are, like you're a product of the five people you surround yourself with, and being able to tap into that is really helpful. I think, with all of this, is really be able to say like, “Let's not create this alone. Let's allow ourselves to be seen, but also witness to the fact that the more we can lean on each other, the more all of us are successful”, which I think is a lovely part of it. When you were saying, “Always tap into your network and build that network”, the group programs are that. 

They become this evidence that you have so many people that you can tap into. All it takes is like just, from time to time, going into a Six Degrees event, reaching out to somebody from a friend of a friend — all of this can just be this new evidence that there's more people out there that you just haven't conversed with yet. So what would be your — if you're talking about networking with somebody, how would you say to create a ritual with it, like being able to get to know people outside of your circle?

Emily: I would encourage everyone to practice networking every single day, that it doesn't have to be at a networking event — it could be at a coffee shop, there was a time that I fell down the stairs in the subway, and I made connection with the person who has helped pick me up at the bottom of the subway stairs. But every person is a potential connection in some way, shape, or form. It could be just knowing of a qualification spot or maybe giving you a heads up about an apartment that's available. So being open-minded about networking. 

If you were actually going to an event or a networking event, go to things that spark your interest because you'll meet like-minded people and people that you want to surround yourself with. I always like to say, “When in motion, stay in motion”. If you're going to network, probably you’d want to get dressed that day and shower, and maybe have \a fun meeting earlier in the day — like maybe not have that be like your calibration day. It might be harder for you to switch gears, especially if you're an introvert. But that's definitely something I've seen and heard. 

The other thing is have something that you put on that you identify with that like really dresses you up or makes you feel gametime ready. It could be a bold red lip if you're interested in lipstick, it could be bold earrings — I always love wearing attention-grabbing earrings because it makes it really easy for people to connect with you, and come up to you, and compliment you, and start a conversation. I have this leather jacket that is just — I feel like it's so chic, and it's very empowering for me when I put it on. I don't think I've washed it in five years either, which is disgusting — six years, holy shit! I’ve got to figure out how to dry clean that thing. There's a little perfume in there. 

Anyways, something that makes you feel really ready to rock and roll, so identify that totem. I feel like Jamie, you've got the red lip that you usually rock or the beautiful blue-colored… I realized — I presented to Jamie's group the other day, I had lipstick on, and it's like a lip stain. I put it on in the Zoom Room, and then I went to the bathroom afterwards, and it was like a clown painted on my lips. I don't know if it looked that way.

Jamie: We didn’t notice. We didn't notice. That's the power of the Zoom Room. We didn’t get a close-up on your lips.

Emily: It was like half up. I literally looked like the olden days after they smudge it. It was hilarious. I was like, “Wow, that is so embarrassing. Do I tell them?” But luckily, you didn't notice. Then, give yourself an intention. It could be like, “I'm going to talk to two people, introduce myself to two people.” 

But drop your expectations. If you're looking for a new job, maybe it's you're telling two people that you're looking for a job. But it's not necessarily like, “I'm going to leave this place with a new job. Otherwise, you're going to be disappointed, and probably it'll take the joy out of the experience that you're having. If you tell people that you're looking for a job, that's the first step in asking for help. The more specific you can be, the easier it is for others to help.

Jamie: Totally. I think a big part of that is like detaching. This idea, like if you go into a networking event looking to get a client, you won't get a client. If you're going to it into a networking event going, “I'm going to connect — maybe it'll turn into one. Who knows?” Or maybe she'll be referral, who knows? But going in, “I just want to be amongst people on this subject matter”, which is what's lovely about Six Degrees, is like we can choose like, “Oh, I want to hear about cooking.” 

Then, part of what we're talking about, Emily was a guest coach in Marketing Mastery, is that someone who was asking like, “How do you have conversations? How can you bring up a conversation, and then somehow, bring up your business?” I realized that there was a world where I didn't talk very easily, like I didn't know how to engage in a conversation like that, and I'm like, “When did that stop?” It was just continuously networking. 

Then, now, realizing that the skill of just talking for 15 minutes to a complete stranger in a Six Degrees event, and going like, “Oh, what interested you about this program?”, or, “Well, how was your day like?” Simple things get to turn into like, “Oh, this is what I do. This is what I’m passionate about.” But that's not what I start with. I think there's a future podcast episode where we bring Emily back and we talk about conversation dynamics. 

Emily: Oh, I love that. 

Jamie: That’d be lovely. But the practice of just simply talking to people is a whole separate thing from networking, and that is a huge benefit.

Emily: Can I just say — if you read or watch Netflix, it's so easy to start a conversation. I am currently watching The Dropout, which is about Elizabeth Holmes and Theranos. You could be like, “Oh my god, could you imagine if your entrepreneurship journey was like hers?” Then, people could be like, “Oh, did you fundraise?” You're like, “No, I didn't fundraise. But I lived in Silicon Valley for a while, but I was in a health coaching business.” It's like some way to take that one thing and bring it around. 

I just started Bridgerton, thanks to Jamie, Bridgerton 2 last night. You're like, “Could you imagine running to the printers every day to get your thing printed? How easy we have it as entrepreneurs. Do you have a newsletter provider that you like?”, “Oh, I use Blue Desk”, “Oh, me too. How often do you send newsletters?”, “Oh, well, I sent…” Then, ask more questions, and bada bing bada boom, you just talked about your business without being a schmuck about it.

Jamie: Being a schmuck — I like it. I like it. I hope talking to Emily has been — to show you there's just so many different paths through entrepreneurship. We clearly are promoting the ability that group, and at the very least, support from a coach can be helpful, but how groups can be lovely and wonderful. But last question to you Em, what does limitless mean to you?

Emily: Limitless means looking at my bank account — buying something without fear or scarcity, and operating from a place of generosity and abundance. It means being able to react at a moment's notice and make a huge life change, and being able — I think I'm more of a heart-centered entrepreneur than I think I am. 

Jamie: Ooh, we heard it here first.

Emily: I think I am. But operating from a place of generosity while knowing that you're magnetic and money's flowing to you and all that — all that jazz, all that good stuff, and being able to operate your life with speed and ease.

Jamie: I love that. Coming from a place of simply abundance no matter where it's at — abundance to share what your knowledge is, abundance in creating time and space, abundance in not having to really be so stringent with your budgets to live more freely.

Emily: One of my weird desires in life is to whisk my girlfriends away on a private jet to a very exclusive house with massages and chefs, and the whole thing, and treat them and take care of others. For me, I love the feeling of being able to take care of people. When you come over to my house — and you know this, Jamie — when you come over, yes, my husband does most of the cooking, but it's like this element of like taking care of the person. I want to do it without that feeling of like, “Well, they need to repay me”, or, “It needs to be…” which I don't have, but still, sometimes it can creep up like tit for tat.

Jamie: Of course, of course. At the very least, if you don't know who Emily is, start to talk her up in the DMs so that when you want to stay in Denver, it feels like you're at a four-star hotel. It was pretty fantastic. 

Emily: It was the best, Jamie. It would be — I was super pregnant at the time, and only wanted grilled cheeses, basically. My husband would make these delicious salads, and lots of greens, which I do love, but just pregnant did not love it. Jamie would be like, “Oh my God, I just got lunch delivered to me.”

Jamie: It was amazing, for sure. You're reminding me of why I need to get out to Denver very, very soon. 

Emily: Alright, we can still make some. 

Jamie: Go ahead and share how someone can get to know you, work with you — all of the above, and we'll leave this podcast here.

Emily: Well, thank you so much for having me, Jamie. I would love to connect with you all. You can find me on Instagram @emilyamerrell, or @six_degrees_society, or @readysetcoachprogram. I will respond to all three of those. Then, I'd also love to invite you to check out a Six Degrees Society event as my guest. You can check out your first event on me using code “virtualsds” at checkout, even the ones that say members only. 

Then, if you want to work with me one-on-one, you can check on Instagram. It's got a Linktree with all of my information — linking out to Calendly and next steps. But even if you have a question about networking, shoot it to me, I love connecting with new people. Clearly, I am a Gemini after all. 

Jamie: It's amazing. Thank you so much for being here, Em, and we'll make sure to keep all those links and those notifications in the show notes for all of you. But have a wonderful rest of your day.

Emily: Thank you.

Jamie Ratermann
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