How To Reap The Benefits Of Self-Care
Self-care has a multitude of health benefits not only for long term health, but also for same-day mental and physical performance. One of the biggest hurdles in understanding self-care is to find a definition that everyone agrees on, but in reality self-care varies depending on each person. For instance, while one person may love massages, another may hate the idea of a stranger touching them. While one person may see eating chocolate cake as an act of self-care, another may judge themself for giving in to their sugar cravings. Walking that fine line may seem difficult, but the benefits far outweigh the time it would take to get self-care right.
“I define self-care as the act of creating habits that improve my health, enrich my day, and would never trigger feelings of regret.”
A consistent self-care practice tends to improve immune function, increase positive thinking, and reduce our levels of stress, depression and anxiety. These are just a few of the many health benefits self-care can bring you. To eliminate confusion, I’ve come up with my own definition of self-care. I define self-care as the act of creating habits that improve my health, enrich my day, and would never trigger feelings of regret. That last part has become the most important distinction for me.
Workouts, cooking, meditation, phone calls with friends, turning off work for my favorite show, and reading are acts that I will never regret. But, I do draw the line at eating the whole container of oreos, gossiping about friends, drinking without abandon, or scrolling endlessly on my social media feed. While these may cause enjoyment in the moment, the sugar crash, post-gossip shame, hangover, and time wasting are not worth it. Where would you draw the line between enjoyment and self-care?
If you’re having trouble finding your routine and where you draw the line, here are my three keys to personalizing self-care in your routine.
The Six Areas of Self-Care
While the definition may be hard to nail down, choosing the activities that “fill up your cup” are much easier. For a well-balanced practice, you want to do your best to include activities in each of the six areas of self-care: physical, psychological, emotional, professional, personal and spiritual.
The way this manifests itself in my schedule is daily strength or hiit workouts (physical), reading (psychological), meditation (spiritual), following comedic social accounts for a good laugh (emotional), prioritizing coffee dates or virtual meet-ups with friends (personal) and taking nutrition classes with IIN (professional). Even looking at this list, I know that I feel calmer and more confident when I do all of these in one day, but it’s never perfect. This will – and should – look different for you. Maybe you don’t want to workout each day, but a bath before bedtime fits better. Or, you’re not one to meditate but going for a walk in nature could become essential to your schedule. The possibilities are endless, but you must be ready for some trial and error. Nobody can tell you that you’re doing self-care wrong as long as it is enriching your day. Thankfully, experts like Olga Phoenix have made it easy to get started. Download her Self-Care Wheel to start exploring your self-care practice.
Setting Aside Time
Now that you know which self-care activities that will build you up each day, you need to create space in your calendar weekly, if not daily, to reap the benefits. This particular part may be more difficult for people who identify themselves as caregivers - more times than not that is women. When I began creating space in my schedule, my inner critic got on her pedestal sending me criticism that I was being selfish, wasting time, or ignoring the long task list awaiting me each morning. That inner critic has won more times than I would like to admit, but after making these important habits a regular part of my routine, she lost her microphone.
The shift happened when I realized that self-care is not a selfish act because it is not only felt by me and me alone. Once I started working out more, I performed better mentally for my clients. When I started each day with meditation, I didn’t let the small annoyances get to me, reducing unnecessary arguments with coworkers, friends, or family. And, finally, when I made time for coffee dates with friends even when I could’ve spent that time on a project that was due, I left feeling full of energy to tackle my tasks and grateful that I have such inspiring friends.
There’s no use in being a martyr to life’s expectations of you. Punishing yourself by only focusing on work or caring only for others is a recipe for burnout, resentment, and negativity. Once you build self-care into your morning, lunch break, or night routine, you’ll be surprised how much you can accomplish while still fulfilling the needs of work or others.
Get Your Mind Right
Finally, let’s get your mindset right. This part may be the toughest, especially for those high achievers who are ready to jump in head first. Be mindful about the way you talk about self-care so that it bring to confidence and contentment for you. For instance, how different do these two sentences sound: “I need to take a bath each night for self-care” or “I get to take bath each night for self-care.” Let’s try it again: “I have to drink less for self-care.” Or, “I’d like to have one drink tonight.” This concept is known as the Reversi technique, coined by Bonnie St. John in her book Micro-Resilience, and the goal here is to reframe self-care as a positive part of your life and less like a chore.
The ways in which we talk to ourselves about our habits are more important than the tasks themselves. You could either take a route that encourages positivity or one that feels like a punishment. While the end result may be the same, your success at making it a habit in the long run and the level at which you enjoy it will be affected depending on your approach.
Creating a self-care routine is far from selfish, instead it is self-honoring. By creating time and habits around bettering yourself, you’re opening a door to a more abundant life for yourself and for those around you.