19. My Breakup with the Hustle
Limitless Podcast —Episode 19— Hustle
Unsubscribing from the hustle isn’t just about not overloading your calendar or trying to always be productive. When it really comes down to releasing the hustle and embracing a less stress-inducing, adrenaline-fueled work week and business, it comes down to understanding how your identity is affected by the hustle. Today, on the Limitless Podcast, Jamie shares her personal story of how she thrived for perfection in the workforce and how it ultimately left her burned out.
Episode’s Highlights:
Jamie’s story, moving from Ohio to New York and how she constantly felt that she had to prove herself.
Failures are always lessons. The more lessons you learn, the more you can bypass hardship in the future.
3 key elements that were constantly holding Jamie back:
People pleasing
Trying to be the perfect version that everyone wants you to be.
Feeling that women, in particular, have to work double as hard as anyone else in order to get what they deserve.
Why you should stop tying your worthiness to external validation and others.
Resources:
Thrive Mastermind: https://www.jamieratermann.com/thrive-mastermind
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Read transcript below
Jamie Ratermann 0:00
I can remember just feeling betrayed and abandoned when I walked into those meetings because I had happened more than once. I was ready to be able to say, hey, look, look, look, look, wait, hold on, you're telling me. And I'm like coming in with new numbers proving these things out, knowing the Excel like the back of my hand, and I would get a very similar response. You're doing what we asked you. We like you don't deserve the race yet. You don't deserve the team yet. So more or less tell me keep burning yourself out. And we'll let you know when we decide that you're deserving of it. Now, I would love to tell you that this was my eureka moment and be like, I deserve whatever I want. And I'm laughing to do that. No, I was like, I'm going to prove now keep proving to them. I'm going to prove that I am. I deserve everything I'm asking for here. And what happened there was burnout. You're listening to the limitless podcast, where we dig into all the possibilities that exist when you lean into the big vision for your life and your business. Hi, my name is Jamie Ratterman. And I am a Holistic business coach, meaning I am just as invested in growing your health as I am in growing your wealth. With 11 plus years and Brennan's social media marketing. I help rebellious entrepreneurs master marketing and body leadership and say fuck it to the hustle. This show is here to encourage you to become radically aware of your self-imposed limits, to break free of your shoulds, and to expand your brand into a movement led by you. The way I see it, marketing is a way of spreading your mission. Social media is a gift for connection. And sales are where you build your strongest relationships. Let's dig in. Hi, lovelies, how are we? Welcome to Episode 19 of the limitless podcast. I am coming off a really big week here over in my bed, I have officially added a new sprint leader to my team who is going to be helping me create visual video visionaries out of my membership to thrive mastermind as well. Thriving, we have a lot of talk happening within there about emotional mastery about launches feeling easier, but also some really big partnerships happening for growth within the businesses. So my Thrive mastermind is that five-month container and you can come in with us right now, I hold just a few spots so that we can make sure we all get to know each other. But it's all built, of course on wealth, how we can make sure that we are creating a money-making business and leading ourselves to big areas of wealth. And then of course our own worthiness. It has a lot to do with emotional mastery a lot of things you hear me talk about on here, and how we get to tap into our own wisdom. So knowing that we the more we can share ourselves on social the more we can be ourselves the more we can share it with others. Growth all happens now, don't worry, I'm just sitting here chatting about how I'm having a fantastic day and week over here. But if this is something of interest to you, I will drop it into the show notes. You can get all the details there, DM me if you have questions about it. I would love love love to invite you in to the Thrive mastermind because it is pretty damn killer. It is pretty killer. I have noticed the social media break episode. You guys liked it. You really enjoyed it. It was one of the higher downloads I've had within a week's time. So I have a feeling all of you are looking forward to a social media break or taking a look at your social habits. So if that episode or any of these episodes have been really helpful to you DM me, tell me what you've been implementing what you've been changing, because I would love to hear it. Of course, I want to make sure that you are telling me what you love about these episodes, but do that through DMing me on the gram. Or of course, screenshotting falling leaving a review. All of those are options too. But I want to hear from you. I would love to officially meet my listeners. So take the moment if you want to do any of those things, I would absolutely encourage you to do that. Today I wanted to dive into something that is really important for me to share. And it's a bit of a vulnerable story for me because I want to make sure that I share why ditching the hustle, why saying fuck it to the hustle, and why these words that I've brought up numerous times before when I'm talking about the goals of who I am as a business owner, who I am as an entrepreneur, really where it comes from, and that comes from my own breakup with the hustle, my own breakup with adrenaline-fueled business. So, I want to use these terms a lot here for the fact that it's not easy to break up with the hustle. I think there's a concept out there or an idea out there that the hustle is just our product of self. The Hustle is us.
Jamie Ratermann 4:48
You know, doing everything in the day keeping like, you know, there's not a moment that we sit down, we're moving on and create and creating and never really taking time for ourselves. That's all Here with the hustle, right? But when it comes down to it, it's not hustle isn't simply tasks, it has a lot to do with how we see ourselves, what kind of value we put on our productive selves, what kind of value we put on others, validating us, how we compare ourselves to what we think, what we think of others. So knowing that all of this plays a really big role. And when I say break up with the hustle, I'm not, it's not just about a 30-hour workweek, it's not just about saying no to specific opportunities, so that you can, you know, spend your time how you want to, that's all great, I'm not saying it's not, but absolutely starting to realize that you aren't that you are breaking up with the hustle or releasing that comes down to how you see yourself what kind of identities you have. And it's so important for me to want to bring up the subject when clearly why it's so important for me within my business has a lot to do with the fact that the more that we subscribe to the hustle, the more that we are sitting here and saying that the only way that I am going to be successful, the only way that I am going to love myself, the only way that I am worthy is by the amount of work that I do, or what this person thinks of me. All of this gets really one crowd, our own well-being we're not thriving, we're not our we're not our best selves, we're not in our best health. But the other side of it is is that we are letting other things define us instead of ourselves. So that's what's really important here. So I am somebody who has been working through this, like the hospital has been something that I loved. There was a side of me and there was a big side of me that I would love to tell people how much I would thrive under the pressure, how much I would like love to say like I got through this many things today. And like, and like even to like the I would write down a checklist and write a few more things on the to do list that I did that I didn't write on a checklist, just call it to check, check, check, check, check, and just feel like okay, what does this mean? This means that I'm good. I'm worthy, I'm capable. That was me. Absolutely. But also what came with that is that let's say there was a launch that I'd be going through, and I wanted to hit a certain number and I'm like, where are they? Why I'm doing all the things that are happening? Why are things happening for me? That would absolutely come up or that when I was having a down moment a negative story that will come to me with like, what am I missing, that they have that I don't have. There are all the all of these comparative stories are built into this hustle that we've all subscribed to this hustle culture that we have what it means to be worthy of being a successful wealthy person, a wealthy woman out here in the world. So the three identities, the three limits that I realized that I needed to work through and I want to encourage you all to take a look and reflect on where and on how these identities play a role in your lives is one the people pleaser. Many of you if you've listened to previous episodes know that I am originally from a small town in Ohio and I think that people pleasing is a part of that town being able to give to others before you give yourselves like that is the definition of a people pleaser. I'm going to make sure others are happy before I am I'm going to make sure that that even though I might feel stressed anxious that as long as somebody else is happy than I am. So people pleasing comes down to I was recently in Ohio this is a small thing. But I was realizing that a big difference between New York and Ohio is that oh in Ohio you have guest snacks at least my mother does. But you and I know that other people will do like you have snacks that are in your house for if someone decides to drop in right like and in New York there's no such thing as a drop in like people like if people are going to come over we know well in advance usually it's like a dinner party or we're telling oh you're coming over we're gonna order takeout like there's no requirements of what needs to be in the house so when people drop in right but in general the difference between New York City and Ohio there's just we're not we're not dropping in ringing doorbells. We're like we know when people are coming. But I just I was like I love you know, salsa and chips was helping moms like those are the guests snacks. We can't touch this.
Jamie Ratermann 9:35
At that just it just reminded me of a couple of courses. This is this is a funny example. But it just reminded me of the idea of like, oh, we weren't allowed to have the foods that we want because of a potential lover guest to come along. So you know, this is a funny one. But the idea here is is that when it comes to these things, there's a lot of Dok put on if you are making others happy before yourself being that people pleaser specifically. The second one here that I know many of you feel too is that I wasn't a plus student. I was somebody who thrived off of that grade card looking all like ah Ay ay ay ay, I loved it so much I was an every extra acrylic curricular I could think of I was absolutely wanting to be the perfect version of what my teachers wanted me to be. So a plus students app, it was absolutely something when it comes to the hustle. If I'm going to set a goal, I better hit that goal, or I'm not, I'm not going to get a great and a grade. If I'm going to put out content a better b and a plus. Like for any of you right now, if I tell you, I want you to post a c plus post c plus piece of content. And you're and you are feeling this like, No, I can't. That's your perfectionist. That's your A plus student coming back when like, wait, no, what will what will the teachers think but what's going to come into play. So I know that these patterns are a part of this. And I have to mention it I because it's important here is that being a woman, being a woman has a lot to do with like, we think that we have to do it all before we deserve what's what's coming to us. So all of these identities that I have held, slowly releasing are a part of me makes this idea of breaking up with the hustle impossible. I'm kidding, it's not impossible. It's just being able to identify where it came from, know that we can really shift the way we think about ourselves. And that in general, this, these things happen. But let me get a little bit vulnerable with you. I want to share my own story of what the hustle has been and where it's at now. And the reason why I want to do this episode specifically is because I have had a lot of conversations with my peers, and with my clients and even with my own my own coaches where I'm just realizing like, I don't feel the adrenaline. But I'm also have a whole bunch of faith in my business. I don't feel the stress about a low light count on something. Because I know the next one could be fantastic. I don't when I'm launching something, it's coming from a place of purpose versus a place of I must make money. And I realized like, I didn't always think this way. I didn't always feel this calm. I did not always have this relaxed view but also purposeful, driven view of how I look at my business. So I think there's a part of me that was like, Okay, wait, I think this is a milestone of me realizing this let this is important for anyone else who's feeling like they're just getting in it with the hustle right now or they're not feeling that they've been able to release it. So this is what this episode is all about. So let me take us back to when I wasn't feeling this relaxed when I wasn't feeling Miss calm. One of my first big leaps ever, when it comes to me as an adult can be becoming who I am now was my leap from moving from Ohio to New York City. I did not have a job lined up mostly because if you had, I was told if you had an Ohio address and move to New York City, you weren't going to get a job. So I needed to have the New York City address. I thought if I did that it would be easier to get jobs. It did happen for me. As soon as I did have a New York address. I was able to get a new job within about a month, which is great. I worked for bigger brands like Henry Bendel and TripAdvisor and that is where my corporate life my corporate life began, right. So one thing that was baked into that was that I didn't think I deserve to be here. Right? I was from Ohio. All these people wearing these beautiful clothes seemed like they had their lives together. Just like casually walking through what I saw was this big city made me go, Oh, I got a lot. I got a lot of work on myself before I deserve to call myself a New Yorker deserves to be here. And of course, at these bigger brands, the same things came up. I needed to prove myself I needed to make sure they knew that they made the right hire, that I was going to be like an asset to them. But I didn't want them to realize I was from the Midwest. I was like I gotta show him a big city girl. That was the idea right? There's, I should find this there's definitely video of me. And in my college days thinking that Alicia Keys like
Jamie Ratermann 14:37
if I can, if I don't make it here, I don't make it anywhere like like blaring that song over and over again. I was trying to get in that New York mindset or really quickly, because I knew that this is where I wanted to be. So that impostor syndrome, that feeling of undeserving that all resulted in really pushing myself hustling, hustling hard. I'm showing the New York hustle, right? So when I was working with in corporate, there was a, there was a time where I ran the entire social media department. So what that looks like what that meant was that I was producing 300 to 500 pieces of content every month, on platforms like Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn a little bit there, Facebook was big Facebook was a big source as well as me proving out Pinterest while I was there while I was working there as well. That also meant that I would have endless meetings and less meetings included, talking to influencers, brand partnerships we had, I was able to recruit a Showtime and ensuites is really frickin fun, partnerships are amazing. I also was talking with the email department about how like, what's happening on social how we can make sure that we get better conversion together. That that was me, that was me handling that as well. That was also me coming into meetings with the content teams, the bones or making the blogs or making sure that the sales pages were really inviting, and talk about what's happening trended wise, not only for SEO, but on social so that we could capitalize on what people are seeking out and making sure they're making content around it. It was a nonstop job. It was a lot. It was a lot of fun. I will, to this day, like I get to use a lot of the experience that I had. But what that really meant was I was the creator, I was a visual designer, I was a copywriter, I was a strategist. I was, I did data reporting. I did a little bit of sales as far as selling the brand, when it came down to it like being able to do these partnerships and do these big things. Like I had to have the know-how to do all of that. It was a lot. It was constant. I was doing the work of six people, absolutely doing the work of six people. But I loved it, I was going to prove myself that this was that I was worthy of everything that I was doing that everything that I did was going to result in the outcomes they were looking for. That resulted in also 70-hour work weeks, guys, the janitor and I were tight to eight o'clock seven, it was usually about 730, the janitor would be coming around grabbing trash cans and starting to like sweep and clean up and I we were tight. We knew each other. Like it was it would be like how does your night go every time we absolutely knew each other. And I would also be the person that would be the first in the office. Most of the reasons why I did both of those things is that I never had time in my day to be able to do the execution side of of the work the meetings prevented me but also to I needed a clearer sense of mind to be able to do all this work. And it's it was pretty hard to know the guns up system. But I wanted to prove myself 70 hours, I need to be very clear here. Even though I am saying about how wonderful this job was and how I was doing all these amazing things. And I've learned all of these experiences, that the salary did not match the work. The salary was definitely something that I was in a small, small, small New York apartment hoping that this would change and fix things. It was not an easy road as far as what was outside of that office. Whenever I came home there was like the money did not make me comfortable. Let's be let me be very clear. So with me wanting to create these outcomes and do more work in the hospital, there was also a sense of hoping that I would deserve the raise that I was looking for that I would deserve the team that I was looking for. So just like any other corporate job there was, there were goals set into place. And unlike the path on which I was, I was going to be tested on to meet those goals. So when the performance review came around, I was ready. I came in data reports all of the ways in which I not only hit the goals, I 3x traffic, I was able to double following. And in that year, I was able to talk about the connections that we made on-site from social just purchase, like all of these things because I unfortunately and I know any of my social media managers out there can remember this had to prove the value of social.
Jamie Ratermann 19:30
But I was ready the data nerd and we were absolutely there because one I wanted the team to I wanted money and three I wanted to pat on the back. All three of those things were essential and important. So I was able to come in and go look, I did all that you told me I could do and I tripled it, doubled it. I did things outside of my scope just so that because it was going to it was to the success of the company. And unfortunately, this is also my story of the breakup with core culture because I did that. And I showed that and I asked for what I wanted. And it came down to the fact that they told me that you did what we asked you. We can't know that you don't deserve more arrays yet. Oh, how angry I can still kind of, I remember the kind of the feeling of like, just like the hotness coming up my neck. I was like, are you kidding? Like, I'm like, I can remember just feeling betrayed and abandoned when I walked into those meetings because it had happened more than once. I was ready to be able to say, hey, look, look, look, look, wait, hold on, you're telling me. And I'm like coming in with new numbers proving these things out, knowing the Excel like the back of my hand, and I would get a very similar response. You're doing what we asked you. We like you don't deserve the race yet. You don't deserve the team yet. So more or less telling me, keep burning yourself out. And we'll let you know when we decide that you're deserving of it. Now, I would love to tell you that this was my eureka moment and be like, I deserve whatever I want. And I'm the left. And to do that. No, I was like, I'm going to prove now keep proving to them. I'm going to prove that I am. I deserve everything I'm asking for here. And what happened there was burnout continuous, what happened there was absolutely didn't want to work there anymore. Became so toxic, not only with the fact that they didn't say we don't have the money yet. They didn't say that. They didn't say like we were allocating our things over here. But your top of the list that was not said it was like a nice little rally cry saying you don't deserve it yet. So this flipped me like I want to be validated by these New Yorkers that I deserve to be here. So I was letting this external validation come from, from managers and people around me, I want to prove to myself that I'm worthy. And I absolutely would come home crying out absolutely rolling at 8:30 pm at night, and my now fiance would look at me go and please leave.
Jamie Ratermann 22:10
Please leave, like don't know, let's not prove ourselves anymore to here. Let's move on. Please leave. And it took a while to figure that out. And realize that, for me, at least my corporate story is that I was just over and over told that I wasn't enough, even though the numbers even though the outcomes even and the level of passion that I put into it proved otherwise. And that was where I did that first breakup, right? This was my first breakup with the hospital. Now while I still work there, I did start to implement a couple of things. Of course, I did start to have a conference room that was there during the day and sort of those early morning or late night hours that I could get my my focus, I absolutely started saying no to people, when it came to meetings, because I didn't need to be in as many meetings as I could, I absolutely would have prompted questions that someone wanted me to do another task for them where I would be like, is this needed? Now? Is this more important than this task? We can definitely talk about specifics around like how to start setting these boundaries, right. But it still wasn't enough for me like trying those things are still an important part of what it was. But i i For me that was a toxic environment. And my my A-plus identity my people pleaser just was not threat was was loud. And definitely was like this. You're not good enough here you're not good enough. So I decided and I and I absolutely loved that I took the leap to to consulting, I decided to start my own business as a brand and social media consultant doing exactly those same things, building out that content suite, being able to create partnerships being able to hit certain outcomes for newer, other brands like TEDx speakers, bestselling authors, a lot of female owned businesses, that part of my career is absolutely something that I can tell you that my health got a lot better. Absolutely, like meditation was a big part of it. I absolutely had my relationships back, I didn't work every night. To to the to that end of that I absolutely created packages and op and retainers that reflected what the cost of my services were. So it's all of the things whenever I made that switch to corporate the things that I learned, right the things that I didn't love, I made the switch over to consulting, I made some upgrades I clearly was feeling better, I feel like it was doing better. And so I just want to say like this, this from corporate to consulting, there was this healing journey that happened. So if any of you are feeling like that what I just described as my of my example with in corporate world, please share with me tell me that tell me if you had a similar experience or if your experience was better, I would love to hear it. for moving into consulting, while I made a lot of shifts, and that was the end, they were fantastic. I also realized that I still had some old habits and stuck around. Like, even though I just said that I created these retainer packages that I knew exactly what my value of my services, I would overdeliver. If somebody asked like, Oh, could you do this for me, I wouldn't be as quick to set the boundary to say, hey, you know, that's not a part of our contract in our agreement, we can drop a new one there, like, especially early parts of my consulting, I wouldn't set that boundary. So I'd make sure I'll help with this. And I'll help with that, I would, again, start to take on extra tasks, because like, it meant that I was valuable to them. And even to that there were there were times where I would do late nights so that I could hit deadlines that weren't exactly realistic. I love to kind of talk about this a little bit for the fact that it was sometimes the deadlines we set for ourselves. It's just pressure, stress, unnecessary. And I would hit them. And I would feel like just the adrenaline running through me going like if I hit this deadline, I'm a good person. And I did that to myself, because I was running my own business. That was it for me. Like sometimes it's crazy to think that we absolutely can rile ourselves up. But then, in the grand scheme of things, the more I realized and started meeting other people, I was valuing my services at what my previous work was. And when I told a couple of friends about what it was about what I was charging, like you're under charging, holy crap, are you serious. So like, again, like I was holding myself to salary standards of corporate of what I was getting on the corporate end, where I deserved more there too. So there was a lot of these things that when I while I moved to consulting, many amazing things happen. Some of those bad habits were leftover. Some of those needing to feel like
Jamie Ratermann 26:54
I was worthy of raising my prices was was there because it had a lot to do with how many tasks where I could complete how valuable I felt. And even within that to, I would take on a lot of work. So I love to kind of tell the story. But there was a moment in my life where I was working for six brands at a time creating multi channel content for all of them, I wouldn't recommend it for everybody that I built the Sprint's from that so that I could get the best content out of that, which is great. But again, six brands, each, each needing 100 to 200 pieces of content every month. No, I wouldn't recommend it. So when I the reason I want to say this from consulting to Ursa, from corporate to consulting, I, when I released pieces of the hustle, but I kept others around. So knowing that this journey does not just like happen and happen in a straight up line where we're working our way and releasing those things. So then, I decided that I really enjoyed storytelling and had a lot to do with people owning their social media. I also wanted to help more people and realize that I me creating the content left and right was not one going to be always the best performing because it needs to be owned, but also to the owned by the brands owned by the leader, their voice specifically. But the second thing was I could coach people to really understand the ups and downs of social. I knew that that was going to be next now. I got my health Ghostery certification a lot because of passing on my dad and me wanting to my healthiest self. But I also when I had started taking on coaching clients, these burnout pieces, these hustle pieces was definitely baked in with me talking about the strategy for their next launch their strategy for their social content. So that's why I was like, Well, I'm already bettering myself. I wanted to bring in health coaching. So as I say this, you all know that I've learned I've talked about these pieces before I launched my group program Marketing Mastery, I launched content, plantings, brands, I was showing up in my content more than I ever had before. So all of these things were when I made the switch from consulting to coaching was really putting myself out there really showing who I am and how much I knew I was capable of. So my first year of making the switch. I had some bad habits that still stuck around. The Hustle was still ingrained in me. The Hustle was saying if I set the goal that I'm going to post seven times this week, if I don't post seven times, I'm not a good person that happened. Launches felt like great cards. So if I I'd created a launch that I decided that I wanted 12 people in there and I got seven and I got four I was like wow, no one must think that I'm good enough. I know that this is something that you all feel some from time to time, which is exactly why I want to talk about this. I have absolutely felt that But in reality, I was putting that belief on myself. Okay, we'll get into it, we'll move on. The second thing here is, you know, post engagement was something it was me saying, I must not be popular, somebody else was doing better than me, I must not be popular. And, and even to those deadlines that I kept creating for myself, I was just really creating this stress. A big eureka moment happened for me, when I was in a coaching container, and I said the words, I thrive on pressure, so I need pressure, I need to set these deadlines. I need to craft these crazy launch goals. I need to do all these things because that's the only way I'm going to thrive under stress under adrenaline. And it was just a simple reflection back going. What if you didn't thrive under pressure? Like what if you thrived? Under love? What have you thrived under trust? What have you thrived under purpose? All of these things that I've had probably said to clients in the past, but was reflected back to me. And it crushed me. I want it crushed. Because my identity was thriving under pressure. I have absolutely realized and I will say in that in that coaching container, I had to have some grief around the way I'd been treating myself up until then, I had to have some grief around the fact that me starting to stress myself out. As soon as I woke up every day to get work done. Wasn't me anymore, wasn't going to work for me anymore. I absolutely had like a week or two weeks where all I did was rest and relax.
Jamie Ratermann 31:42
i One of my biggest things when I was in the middle of lunch and I really wanted people to sign up. And I made this really crazy choice to just go to the park and lay in the grass. And I was like, Oh, I'll be there for an hour. That was what was going on in my head. And I was just like, I'll be here just for an hour that I stayed for another 10 minutes. And then I stayed for another hour. And I was like the one side of me was like you're not being productive right now what's happening, what's happening. But then I just stayed there. I relaxed there. And I you know, there's something to be said about this is that, for my spiritual guides, I know this is easy to accept. But for my people who haven't done this, haven't done this work for themselves or really done this internal value within themselves. I got to I got two signups on that Friday, I didn't post anything that day, I had posted all week, I was fine. I didn't need to do that. I had some referrals come into while I was taking care of myself while I was resting while I was relaxing. So it was like that, these moments, these few moments of realizing that I couldn't continue this internal monologue that was happening of being so productive of hustling so hard. I knew I could still be productive. I knew I could still be very successful. I didn't know how. Because it felt like wait, the adrenaline is how I do things. And it still sometimes will feel a little bit wonky going Why am I relaxed about this launch. This is okay. But that was this like this is the beginning. And I just want to be very clear, there was grief, it felt like a death of a previous version of myself. When it came to this realization that I was getting healthier, I was doing all the things but still, something wasn't right. And it had a lot to do with what was happening to me mentally and internally. So this is where I jump into where it's at now. Where I'm seeing things are, of course, by releasing the hustle is not gone. But it is absolutely one of the highest stages that I've ever experienced. And that has, and that is about taking a holistic and spiritual approach to your business. And for me, it has a lot to do with sharing my purpose and my energy. I think that all of you deserve to hear my words every single day. I know that I deserve to share my voice every single day. My purpose is going to be about sharing my journey and sharing how each and every one of you can be healthy and wealthy women, and entrepreneurs, sharing their passions has a lot to do with trust. So when someone would tell me what is self-love before I absolutely, there were a couple of times that I would ask the question. I mean, what is self-love? What is that? Like? How do you actually do that? Had a lot to do with trust. Had a lot to do with trust. So when someone talks about being their own boss, me setting ridiculous deadlines, I was a shitty boss, right? I was not a cool boss but putting that out there. So for me to trust myself that I would take care of myself. I had a lot to do with releasing that and hitting deadlines. Hands, that were respectful of me that were respectful of my time, that allowed me to live a full life not just work, it was a lot about celebrating small and big wins. Like if one person signed up, I was going to be just as excited. If 20 People slide up both both deserve the same amount of help someone is believing in my mission, my message, all of that comes into play. That also came down to me sitting with a lot of hard feelings. When I was having scarcity, I wasn't going to try to numb myself when I was having when I still have scarcity or fear, I think to myself, you know, what, how can I move from fear, to faith to love, I have to sit with it. Like there are timers that go off, all over the all over the place, in a month's time in my apartment of me just quietly sitting with the emotions that I'm having. And then of course, knowing that everything gets to be temporary, hard moments are temporary challenges are temporary, wins are temporary. So knowing that we we got to repay respect to hard moments and those big moments. But this all comes down to a daily practice how I express myself in the day to day how I come into this a little bit differently. So that's my story. That's where I'm at. I really want to encourage any of you if you're like, Ah, this is where I'm at on that journey to share with me, tell me about it. Because this is the this is definitely
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a very big part of my purpose of what kind of business I run. So I want you all to feel fueled. I want to encourage you all my desire for anyone who works with me as they run a faith fueled business, faith in themselves, faith in their message, faith in their purpose. And we're releasing the adrenaline side of things. So when it comes down to it, I shared all of this, these pieces of my journey. And I'll continue to tell you more we especially if you tell me what, how you relate to these things. But the biggest three lessons that I really took down from reflecting back on this is, is the first one here being you are always worthy, and deserving. Now, I want you all to say this out loud right now. Like, I am always worthy, say it out loud, wherever you are, whether even to if you want if you're not in a if you're in a public place, and you don't want to don't just chance something right now maybe you say you mouth that to yourself, I am always worthy. I'll take a moment and see, what does your body feel like when you say that if you're getting the EQ, it's a sign. If you are feeling warm, fuzzy feelings, that means that you've worked through a piece of this journey, you've worked through what we've been told, and you are starting to tap into your power. So this is where the process of getting there, the process of getting in fully believing in this in this statement has taught us to stop tying yourself. Stop tying your worthiness to external validation. Stop tying your worthiness to what others think of you. I'm not saying that you have to 100% never care about any of it. But we're going to make sure that it is not over 50%, we're going to make sure that maybe is 20 10%. Because you're going to come back to yourself and what yourself needs first because that's going to allow other things to happen. So how do you feel about what you do for the world? Do you feel that it is going to change people's lives? How do you feel about the way in which you approach every day? How do you feel about the way you're embodying what you're sharing? Like if you are somebody who wants to show people to be their most funky weird self? Are you being your most funky, weird self? Are you embodying what you want for others? And how when you show up for your clients when you show up for people who come into your business, your customers? Are you coming through it from a place of I am a leader in this business, I am a leader who can help you. Even when I make mistakes, I am a leader. All of these things are a way in which to prove to kind of check into if you are actually feeling worthy. When you hit this, when you really get to a point of what this can look like launches are going to feel like playground launches of a product or program service. They're gonna feel playful. Yeah, you're there's a launch strategy. There are some basic things that you can do. But how can you embody what the program is delivered? Bring? How can you invite the people who you know are tapped into the message when it comes to content creation? And when it comes to what is sharing a part of it? How can it be all about? How you are the energy of that program? You are that not you have to do it. But you are being that version of that program. So how can you share more and more often about how your program or product creates a positive change for others, by being the thing, like you are the source, you are that thing. But it comes from believing that you are always worthy. It comes from believing when one person signs up, that they're tapped into your service. When one person signs up, there's five like that, more likely the most likely, and you're holding with faith that those people will come. But even if they don't, you're still worthy. So that's a big part of what that lesson can be right? The second lesson is that failures mean nothing about you. Absolutely nothing. So I love to kind of think about how I was as a kid, when I when I think about trying something new or how I was as a kid if I would fall. So go back to its people like to call it a beginner's mindset I want to talk about, call it your rebellious
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child mindset. Remember, remember yourself when you did not, you weren't concerned about others you weren't concerned about the other kids with their bikes, because you had the coolest one because you because it was yours, right? So go back to your beginner's mindset, your rebellious child, mindset, whatever that might be, for any of my family, the little shit mindset. Because there's a whole story about how I didn't care. I wanted what I wanted, either way, go back to her beginner's mindset, when you were a kid when you fell, and you skinned your knee. Do you remember if you were in the depths of why you sucked if you failed if you clearly failed at riding a bike, you must, you must not be cool enough to ride that bike, there must be something wrong with you because you couldn't ride that bike? You got maybe you got a band-aid from your, from your dad from your mom you were in or what it is. But it's likely you didn't sit in that negative story. It was lightly you didn't create this whole idea or perspective about you that there was something wrong with you. He just skinned your knee. That's all it was. You bandaged it, you got help with it, but you couldn't wait to get back out with your friends, you're gonna get back on it. I even remember, I took off the training wheels, and I did it. I was riding my bike around. And then my dad's like, well, if you're going to go in town, I gotta put back on the training wheels. I didn't care. I'll make sure I'm gonna go meet my friends. Sure. But now if someone tells me that I have to go a step back. I'm like, I like, or a previous version of me tells me I gotta go a step back before I can really do this full time for myself. I go like, what, what's wrong with me that you think I have to? I'm not worthy of riding a bike without training wheels. Like, we didn't have these negative stories. So when we can approach this idea that failures are always lessons, always lessons, that failures get to be like, okay, I learned something there. You know, when we're in the depths of fits in that failure, maybe we take a moment you go like, this sucks. That's all will be okay, this sucks. But the other side of it is, is that, okay? What did I learn here? A big thing here is that the more lessons you learn, the more you get to bypass hardship in the future, the more easily, it's going to be to be resilient, the more easy it's going to be to bounce back. So this is really a big example of how a personalized strategy can come into play. So you're going to learn what's going to work for your business and what's not, you're gonna be given ideas, but you got to make you get to make them your own. You want to make them okay, what actually makes me get to be the biggest or best version of me. And if that, if that messes up is that if you fail on that, you get up and you try it again. An easy way to take a test of this is to take a look at your time management. So if you're right now spending a lot of time in your business, take a look at where you're spending your time. So I fail on a regular basis with my time management. I fail all the time. I will wait I will have a beautiful schedule for the week. And then I will take a look at the end of the week and go I didn't do that that that or that. I know first Have you when you didn't finish the tasks that you've been putting on your list, you might look at that failure to me and like, I'm not productive enough. I'm lazy, I'm not good. I'm not doing those things. This is a sign that you're taking failure to mean something about you. Where I will look at the task, and I'm like, Well, what happened instead? What's the lesson here? Well, I didn't have that creative block for myself, because my landlord came up here, that because I ended up getting a new an invitation to do it, I do live with somebody, I had to move this around. I had to do all of these other things, that word just as fruitful. But I guess my lesson here is like, I need to pay attention to what I'm saying yes to, that can all be a part of this. So second part here, failure means nothing about you, there are lessons, don't attach them to your identity, don't attach them to what they means about you, you are a good speaker. Already, you are, you're great with words already, it only gets to be better. So don't allow this, this idea that I'm not any good at something, because of previous quote, unquote, failures. Those were just lessons we're getting, we're getting to be a better version of ourselves. The last one, and I really want to hit this one home here is a business success is powered
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by you more than having all the right things in place, more than having all of the right brandings, all of the right strategies. You embody your business, the more alive and loving and trusting you are in your life, your business will follow. So as somebody who is a brand and social media strategist first I was that's the first thing I did. That's the biggest part of what I've done. And you know, I'm a business coach, because I've been able to show how all that comes into other aspects of business, there's so much strategy. There are so many strategies out there. Absolutely. There are so many ways to conduct your business, I will still tell you that business success is built on a 70% mindset and energy and 30% strategy. How many times I will have somebody who's built out their launch plan they love, they've done everything that they're supposed to do. But as far as their energy about their launch is desperate for money, is hoping people like their posts, as needing things to like, I need to get this many people by this week. And these many people buy this because they want to control the aspects of it. Instead of being in the mindset and the energy of what the program is what the opportunity is. This has a lot to do with why things don't work. You have to embody the energy of your business if you want to be a thriving wealthy woman, and you want everyone else to be that. How can you take small steps to be that? So this is where you check in with the next time you launch a product or service? Are you embodying what that program or service is? If you are launching something, and some in you're in something, you know, you're not feeling it. That's an opportunity for you to stop everything you're doing when it comes to putting stuff out there and see what can I do to feel my best today? Who do I want to be, as the leader of this program? Is the question to ask yourself? What do I want to give as a part of this program within that to make sure that you feel 100%? This comes up a decent amount when I have clients that aren't feeling well, like well, I have to get work done, I have to do these things. Or you pause today just for today. And you decide that I'm going to take care of do all the things that I want does that I need to take care of myself this evening tonight. I want to stop my work day. Because I'm not feeling 100% so that tomorrow morning, I'm more likely to feel 100% That's a part of business success. How can you be the most alive you can be the more life you're living, the more love you're feeling for yourself and what you earn, and just in general, just being lit up by your own life by yourself by your worthiness by Just Your power there your belief in yourself all of these things, right? The more your business is going to do well. Absolutely. So the goal is to be the thing. So the big three lessons that I've learned here, I just want to repeat them are that you are always worthy. Do the work if that sentence does not feel true to you, you will have always been worthy you continue to deserve all that you want. Do that work to figure out what's happening that doesn't allow you to believe that failure never means anything about you. failures or lessons, always lessons, and then within that success, business success is powered by you more than having the right things in place. You are the living embodiment of the outcome of your businesses so be that this episode absolutely feels therapeutic to me. i There's just something to be said about how abundant life can feel once you release the hustle, how
Jamie Ratermann 50:36
just trusting it can be. And I think there's a lot to be said of you there when everything I've shared here is my own journey. And within all of these things, has been you know, the contraction has been, failure has been fear has been figuring out who I am. And it's like, kind of like what's happening internally internal mechanics because it's not something that I had to do. It's what I had to be, what I was who I wanted to be every step of the way. And it's harder this way because it's not something that we can just look and check off. It has to do with how we show up every day and how we create this sense of faith and calm. But this is a large piece of what I build all my programs off offs of being able to be your healthiest and wealthiest cells. This particular journey is essential as a backbone to many things that I do and a lot of what the emotional masterpiece is that we're doing right now in the Thrive mastermind. So just let one last reminder here, please feel free to take a look in the show notes about this five-month container that can help you essentially release yourself from the hustle but by doing that we're going to make big money, we're going to love the bold way we show up online. All of these are essential parts with the support of me and of course, the other entrepreneurs who are subscribing to doing the same thing and who've decided to jump on their empowerment journey together. So if you're interested, those are in the show notes. Do you know where to find me follow me on the gram at Jamie Ratterman feel free to check out my website to see anything that's going on in my business right now? But this was an absolute pleasure. I cannot wait to hear about your hustle journeys and how we are releasing it one step at a time.